Truth: At the birth of my son, I wished he would die

Truth #24

"My partner had a traumatic labour resulting in an emergency Cesarean section that I wasn't permitted to attend. I was left without word for an hour. The anesthetist returned to tell me that my baby had suffered hypoxia and that he had to be resuscitated. This took 10 minutes. I was told to expect multiple organ damage and brain damage. I

wished that he would die as I hated the idea of him suffering in any way. I was permitted to see him in intensive care and he looked so peaceful. The longest 10 days of my life passed as we waited for him to recover from his first worldly experience.

One year on and I have the funniest, confident, brightest little person dominating my thoughts, that I can only just about remember those 10 days.

But my very initial wish still rings in my ears.

I remind myself occasionally that i shall never wish the same again."

Submitted 7/9/07 vie e-mail